you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You pole danced in your parka.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
