You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
