Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize