My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
