final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize