Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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