JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
