just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
