Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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