i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
