They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
