I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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