.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
