we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
