i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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