I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
