I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
