Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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