I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
