you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
