We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
