I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
