Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
