sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
