does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
