Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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