My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
