I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
