i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
