I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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