Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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