he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Found the puke drawer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
