OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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