all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
