using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
