I can tuck mytits in my pants
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
