sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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