You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
