My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
