Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
