OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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