You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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