She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
