we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
