Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
