opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
