fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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