She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
