I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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