When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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