I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
