id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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