Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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