Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
