i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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