so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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