I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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